In a bizarre celebration of Belfast’s industrial heritage, a Northern Ireland artist is planning to tow an iceberg to the city that built the Titanic.

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I know - I know - its been too long since I updated this voyeuristic peak into my daily dealings. So for all 6 of my loyal followers here you go!

There are very very few things a waiter or waitress could say to me that would make me want to get up & leave or ask for another server, but the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank is now 2 for 2 with my last couple of trips there.

The first was during the height of the “Passion of the Christ - ain’t we glad to be Christians cuz we can watch a snuff film and repent about it at the same time” craze. Theresa and I needed to pick up a few things at Best Buy (or as I call it, The Toy Store) & decided to stop in to the Outback for lunch. During our meal, we began talking about personal finances or something like that. Our waiter who was walking by after giving someone else their food stopped at our table to ask us if we were going to see a movie after our meal. Not that it had ANYTHING to do with our conversation, I told him no. He then jumped onto the opportunity to make sure we ran out to see The Passion of the Christ & went on a rant about how amazing the film is at showing how Christ suffered for all of us.

So lets stop & review:

1 - He interupted my conversation with my wife - not because he had something constructive to offer on the topic but to push his filmatic religious experience on us.

2 - I AM NOT CHRISTIAN - that’s all I am going to say on this issue to make sure I don’t start any controversy.

Well - at that point I was completely dumbfounded. Theresa thanked him for his recommendation while I debated calling the manager to ask for our meal to be comped. If we had not been practically done with our lunch, I would have raised a much bigger stink about the issue, but my wife - ever the patient one - convinced me to just pay our bill & leave.

Time warp ahead to Sunday this weekend. We met a few friends at the same Outback for a lunch. Only a 20 minute wait - but it went quick enough at the bar. We finally get seated at our table. After a bit of an unusually long wait our waitress finally shows up - and I kid you not said something to the likeness of this:

“Hi my name is _________. I’ll be your server today. It’s been like a week since I served and I am so glad to finally be able to say that again. I had this massive cold. My mom said she doesnt think I am all better yet but I was like ‘Mom…I’m totally better enough to work.’ So here I am today. YAY! I may not be 100 percent better yet but I am so glad to be here.”

So to sum it up in English:

“Hi. I am still suffering from a cold and am going to handle all of your food and drinks.”

Lucky break for us on this one though, she did not bring out our food when it was finally ready.

So there ya go - I figured I owed all of you something a bit more interesting that a website link this time since it’s been so long since I updated this thing.

“Getting caught is the mother of invention.”
Robert Byrne