BEWARE THE PANDA-PUPPY! It’s got HUGE POINTY TEETH!

For those who are unaware, today is yet another one of those ridiculous predicted doomsdays. You know the kind - earthquakes, volcanoes, mass chaos, long lines to get into Heaven, etc., etc.

The prediction for this one is especially entertaining. It originates from a group of alien-abductees - which lends this one much more credibility than that of a man who has been dead for 200 years and wrote cryptic loosely phrased predictions which could be interpretted 500 different ways. But I digress.

Today’s untimely demise shall be brought about when an earthquake rocks Gautalajara, Mexico (pardon my spelling). At the height of the earthquake - when the crust of the planet has torn apart, an alien spacecraft is going to kamakazi itself into the crack instigating a massive tectonic plate shift, the likes of which the earth has never seen causing planet-shattering earthquakes and volcanic eruptions across the globe.

Now I know what you are thinking - it was my first thought too. Maybe the meteor that is passing us today is this mysterious alien spacecraft & they meant California, not Mexico, but NO - I assure you these abductees have made it abundantly clear it will be a spacecraft impacting in Mexico.

So if it is the end of the world, I would like to leave you all with a few thoughts:

First & foremost, I regret nothing - especially anything I did or said to YOU.

Second, if it is going to happen, could it please happen early in the day. I would hate to think I wasted my last day on this fine, fine planet of ours making a website at work that no one will ever see.

Third, if there is a Heaven & a Hell is it possible that this whole “Hell is for the eternally-damned” thing just be a really good smear campaign laid out by Heaven?

Last, even if today is NOT the end of the world, this is my last post as 20-something as tomorrow I roll into the 30’s.

I owe James some props here for helping me to coin the new term DICKSTERITY - the quantifiable measurement of a person’s ability to be a dick.

Sample Use:
House Speaker Dennis Haster’s dicksterity was quite high when he commented that Al Qaeda wants Kerry to win the Presidential election.

That was the first thought to come to mind when I read this article.

Those are the odds I beat Saturday when I guessed the numeric value of 5 cards dealt to me in order when the cards were dealt in a round of 5-card draw poker.

No more quick picks for me when I play the lottery.

FYI - the cards were 5,10,J,Q,K - and I did pull the 9 during the draw to get my straight.

USA today got an advanced copy of the Star Wars Trilogy for an advanced review. Their review can be found here for those who are interested in seeing it.

Among the changes they reported, the one that caught my eye is this one from Episode 4: “The cantina shootout between Han Solo and the green-snouted bounty hunter Greedo is virtually identical, but now it seems their guns fire almost simultaneously.”

We just witnessed Spiderman kick the everloving snot out of General Thade (Planet of the Apes) at the Chinese Theatre about 20 minutes ago - or at least we saw it happen to the carnies who were dressed as them.

For those who don’t know, our office window looks down on the Chinese Theater in Hollywood - I mean quite literally down on it as we are across the street.

Unfortunately, I didnt get to see the actual fight, but I did get see Thade lying on Hollywood Blvd itself convulsing & Spiderman pacing about angrily.

My coworker then filled me in that Thade & SM had been in each other’s faces, but he did not see who took the first punch. The next thing he knew Spiderman threw Thade out onto street & was on top of him pummeling the hell out of him. The incident ended with Thade being taken away in an ambulance & 3 police cars to control the scene & get witness accounts.

When we went to get coffee, a security guard who saw the whole thing told us that Thade did indeed take the first punch. That’ll teach him to mess with Spiderman!

This computer looks very familiar.

You will note though that the computer comes with a touchscreen monitor & the mouse & keyboard are wireless by default. No clue when these computers came out, but it seems as if they are already in use by the dialogue on the site (assuming the whole thing is not a hoax).

This video is just - well - you will just have to see for yourself to understand.

It’s a wonder one of the major studios hasn’t picked this guy up yet.